Saturday, April 26, 2008

The Definition of "Well"

What, exactly, does the term "well" mean?

The definition is important, because my doctor and I need to be on the same page about what we expect to get out of any treatment I might agree to.

The first psychiatrist I saw had a pretty narrow definition of "well". "Well" for him meant "not manic--not even a little bit happy." And don't smile at him, or he'll up your Depakote or put you on antipsychotics. In his mind, "well" did not include being able to think, multitask, create, write, articulate clearly, read, stay awake, exercise, cook healthy meals, maintain a healthy weight, or have the energy to do anything other than sleep and convert food into poo.

Since firing him and taking myself off medication, I have come to the conclusion that any doctor I entrust my care to needs to have the same vision of wellness that I do. I expect a high level of functionality. Being a brain-dead zombie is not acceptable. Being a fat, brain-dead zombie is even more unacceptable.

My family don't seem to have a clue what "well" means, either. They assume that because I am not currently taking medication that I must be "well", and I have noticed that since going off meds, no one asks me anymore, in those annoying, hushed, solicitous tones, How I'm Feeling.

I guess if I'm not on medication, everything must be okay, and I'm cured now.

I suppose things will go on like this until I Lose My Mind again, reminding them that oh, yes, there is a Problem, isn't there?

*sigh*

4 comments:

Gianna said...

I suppose things will go on like this until I Lose My Mind again, reminding them that oh, yes, there is a Problem, isn't there?

why are you assuming you're going to lose your mind again?

and if you fear losing your mind are you actively seeking alternatives to meds since you seem to hate them so much?

Jazz said...

I'm not afraid of losing my mind again...I'm doing a lot of things to try to prevent that.

My doctor doesn't believe that's possible.

I guess I just find it interesting that some members of my family seem to think that if I'm taking medication then there must be a Problem...but if I'm not taking medication then everything must be a-okay...even though I'm doing so against medical advice.

Gianna said...

Sorry I misunderstood...I hope what I said wasn't offensive.

Jazz said...

Oh, no, no problem!
Writing about certain members of my family causes me enough annoyance that I tend to lose a large amount of brain function temporarily, so I'm not always as clear and objective as I could be!