Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Best Laid Plans

So...this was supposed to be the one morning of the week when I did not have have to Go Out. I was going to laze around in my sweats, drink my morning chai (made with soy milk...wards off those annoying hot flashes, dontcha know), and read some blogs.

Yeah, right.

7:12 am: last child out the door. Peace.

7:35 am: having stripped and remade the kids' beds with fresh sheets, get laundry going.

7:40 am: make chai. Sit down. Sigh contentedly.

7:42 am: phone rings. It's Little Mouse: "Mom, I forgot my stuffing for my science project" (don't ask.)

7:43 am: sigh. Glance longingly at chai and chair. Gather up car keys, wallet, cell phone and shopping list for the drug store, which I'm driving right by, so I might as well stop at, which will make tomorrow's list of errands just a little shorter.

8:00 am: drop off stuffing at school.

8:10 am: get to drug store. Discover they only actually have three of the eight items on my list. Bleh.

8:36 am: arrive home. Divest myself of the Accoutrements of Going Out. Let dogs out. Take a sip of chai, which is still warm thanks to my insulated mug thingy.

8:37 am: notice blinky yellow light on the phone, which means I have voice mail. Sigh. The only people who ever call me that early are children who've forgotten things.

8:38 am: retrieve message. It's the Barrister: "Mom, I forgot my glasses." We are not going to speak of my amazement that anyone could FORGET THEIR GLASSES. I have been wearing glasses since I was seven, and I have NEVER FORGOTTEN MY GLASSES. I can't bloody see without them!

8:39 am: sigh. Call dogs back in. Find glasses. Gather up Accoutrements of Going Out once more.

8:49 am: realize I have left the washing machine running, and with my luck, this will be they day it decides to break down, spewing water over everything and causing a Major Catastrophe that I do not have the Will To Deal With.

8:52 am: arrive at the Barrister's middle school--which is RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET from Little Mouse's middle school, which is where I was LESS THAN AN HOUR AGO. Endure knowing smile from office receiptionist, who now knows me by name because I have been doing Mom-I-forgot-whatever runs at least every week for the last three years.

9:05 am: arrive home once more. Check washing machine, which is happily chugging along. Let dogs out, both of whom are giving me the the will-you-make-up-your-damn-mind look. Take a sip of chai. Which is now cold.

9:06 am: lament the loss of my quiet morning. Bleh.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Random Thoughts...

1. Eating healthy is a heck of a lot of work. Just thought I'd pass that on...

2. I am seriously getting my butt kicked by a shawl. I knit and knit and knit, and it never gets any bigger. I am beginning to feel like it will never end.

3. How hard is it to stay on track with an English project that involves multiple checkpoints, a mother who is constantly reminding you of your deadlines, and a word processor? ("...when I was a kid we didn't have word processors. We had to scratch our reports in the dirt with sticks, and hope it didn't rain before the teacher looked it over...") The Barrister blew off pretty much everything for the third checkpoint until the night before it was due...

4. I do not care how important it is for you to exercise your independence (or how late you are for the bus, for that matter). If you have forgotten your glasses and your boots are muddy, ASK ME TO GET THEM FOR YOU! I will be scaling Mt. Laundry today, and the last thing I need is to have to clean up a trail of muddy bootprints from the front door up to your room and then the bathroom and then back down again.

5. I should not have decided to get serious about losing weight the same week I am planning to make chocolate-chip-cherry-oatmeal cookies.

6. I need a bonus points program. And they need to be redeemable for yarn. Seriously.