Tuesday, June 3, 2008

On Kindness

I was very sad to see that Gianna at Beyond Meds will not be blogging any longer due to cruel comments left on her blog. I cannot understand what drives some people to behave as badly as these anonymous commenters have. All I can do is shake my head and wonder at the state of this world...and ask myself WTF I was thinking, bringing children into it.

Years ago I read something about thinking before you speak, and it touched me. I cannot recall where I read it, or who wrote it, but I wrote it out on a notecard and stuck it on my fridge for my kids to read when they need a reminder.

We could all do worse than to follow its advice:

Ask yourself before you speak (or comment on someone's blog):
Is this true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?

8 comments:

Clueless said...

Great questions. Unfortunately, with mental illness for me too often that my speak for me and I would say feel and say something that if I were not fragmenting, I would not have said. Sometimes, I catch it and other times I am remorseful and apologize. I do not know the situation that occurred, but I do hope Gianna realizes that she may be reacting and that it may be okay to come back and like the "real" world nothing is completely safe even here. I find it hard because I want things to be absolutely and completely safe...but it isn't and my feelings get hurt and I become angry.

Bipolar Wellness Writer said...

Dear Jazz,
I've been "freaked out" since yesterday as well. To have someone terrorize Gianna on line is truly frightening, and certainly isn't helping her in healing.

On the one hand, you want to be brave and not let anyone silence you. On the other hand, Gianna has finally been feeling so much better,and she truly needs to concentrate on wellness.

But, either way, it sure makes me feel sad.

Susan

Jazz said...

Clueless--
I think we all want things to be "safe"...or at least, most of us do. But things aren't always safe. I guess the best we can do is to try to make sure that we are not part of the problem. Not always easy when we are dealing with our own issues, I do understand that.

Jazz said...

Susan,
It makes me feel sad, too. And a little scared, that this sort of thing goes on.

Gianna's voice will be missed. I think that in her place, I would do the same thing, though. It just isn't healthy for a person to have to take that kind of abuse--especially if they are in recovery of any sort.

Annie said...

Jazz- I am sorry for your friend having to leave her blog. I do not know her but your words were wise and kind. I will be thinking about those of you who knew her and your loss. Annie

Jazz said...

Thank you, Annie.

Coco said...

How very sad. And wrong. I hope Gianna comes back, and comes back healthier and stronger. My blood just boils every time I think of these heartless scumbags that have the black evilness in them to do these kinds of things. Of course the kindhearted me should be thinking of how wounded they themselves must be to lash out like that. HA! I'd love to whip their sorry asses!

Jazz said...

Coco--
I feel the same way! I keep telling myself I should feel sad for them that they feel they must take their pain out on someone else...but I'm afraid my heart just isn't that big.

Hopefully Gianna will recover and feel up to making a comeback at some point in the future. Her writing has been very inspiring to me, and I will miss her voice in the blogosphere very much.