depression is...

...slogging through glue only to find i have arrived at a bleak, colorless place that is no different from the place i left...and the fact that i've been here before is no help...there is no map to help me find my way out...and if others have left tracks here, they've long since sunk back into the mire...

...a muffling wall of thick, heavy air surrounding me. i can see out, but nothing can get through...not light, not sound, not emotion, and to fight my way through it requires far more energy than i can ever remember having.

...like something has sucked all the joy from me and replaced it with numb indifference.

...an absence. an emptiness. a lack of life, of energy, of purpose, of light.

...an inability to decide the simplest things...can't decide what to eat...not because i don't know what i want, but because i lack the will, the volition, the energy, to even make a decision. any decision. it is too much to ask of me right now.

...slow motion. move through glue. think through glue. breathe through glue. feel nothing.

...wanting to cry but not even having the energy for that.

Sorry, Mum. A nice hot cup of tea just doesn't cut it...