Thursday, September 11, 2008

Thoughts on Success

Ever since I was given the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom, and once the children were in school, the time and energy to pursue my writing, I've been trying to understand why it is that I have no interest in the whole publishing game.

I've written. I've written volumes. Novels and a writing book and reams of poetry...and of course, pages and pages of journal stuff. But I have absolutely no interest in sending it out.
Friends and family have read my work, and when they have finished, I am always asked, "Are you trying to get this published? You really should, you know."

And I always want to ask, "Why?"

I used to think that maybe the reason I didn't want to send it out was fear...fear of rejection, fear of failure...but I have sent stuff out, and honestly, it's no big deal. I am well aware that the publishing business is purely market driven, and that what sells is what The Herd likes to read. Unfortunately for my future as a "professional" writer, the only person I have any interest in satisfying with my writing is myself.

Artistic success, as this culture seems to define it, is only important if you hold what other people think to be more valid than your own soul's truth.

Or maybe if you have any interest in where your next meal is coming from...

Writing Prompt: How do you define success? By your own definition, do you consider yourself successful?

11 comments:

Monica Cassani said...

Jazz,
I would stop asking myself the question why and instead glorify in your satisfaction and be profoundly grateful that you are an artist who need not starve as well.

To write for one's own pleasure and be satisfied is lovely...exquisite really.

susan said...

Jazz. if I couldn't write I would die. I need to write as much as I need to breathe.

I understand where you are coming from here. I always felt I did shoddy work when I got paid for it.

As for my novels, I have dreams that someone will find them long after I am gone and I will win lots of posthumous awards . I cannot handle that while I am alive I don't think.

Jazz said...

Gianna--
You are right, of course!
I should just be happy with what I have and quit questioning myself! I think part of it is that I feel like I ought to be thinking about that whole "And what have you done with your life?" thing...has to do with being raised to strive for goals and accomplishments and bright shiny prizes, I guess. And realizing that bright shiny prizes don't necessarily make people happy.

Jazz said...

Susan--

We have much in common!

Like you, I also feel that if I could not write I would die. It is so much a part of who I am and how I process the events of my life.

I am not sure if I could handle the things that would come with commerically successful writing, either!

Kass said...

OMG, Jazz. I just wrote about success and failure today. lol! Great minds think alike. :)

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Anonymous said...

Maybe it's the exhibitionist in me, but I always have an audience in mind when I write. Journaling, to me, feels like therapy rather than art, which is not to say that it isn't incredibly valuable. When I draw, I always think of it as therapy, never art, because it isn't meant for others' eyes.

I mean, when I dance in my living room, is that exercise or art? It's certainly different than dancing on stage.

I don't know. These are just thoughts on my own work. I would never tell someone they aren't an artist just because they don't have an audience.

Jazz said...

Superlagirl...
I wonder if the difference between "play" and "art" or "exercise" and "art" comes more from the intention you bring to the work rather than what you are actually doing?

Or maybe it isn't up to us to decide if it's art or not...maybe art is in the eye of the beholder. I don't know. I've seen works that have been done in the name of therapy that I would call art...and I've seen works that have been done in the name of art that I would call absolute rubbish...so maybe it's a combination of intention and audience...what do you think?

I'll have to think more on this...maybe there's a new post brewing somewhere in here!

Jazz said...

Marissa--
Obviously, great minds do think alike! ;)

Anonymous said...

Hi Jazz,

I agree with Superlagirl, she said," Maybe it's the exhibitionist in me, but I always have an audience in mind when I write. Journaling, to me, feels like therapy rather than art, which is not to say that it isn't incredibly valuable. ."

I like writing for specific audience. Writing style changes depending on the audience.

I know that many great writers have been rejected and that I shouldn't care what other people think.... but I can't help it. If I know people are reading what I write.... it makes me feel successful.

Journaling usually backfires on me. It just stirs me up. It doesn't help me come to a resolution of my feelings.

I am not saying that this is how you should feel, or my way is correct. But having an audience is very important to me. Making a difference. Working as and agent of change. Those things make me feel valuable.

It is almost like the old phrase..."If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it did it make a noise?"

sbwrites said...

Dear Jazz,
When I had my first book published, it was the greatest feeling in the world. There was no such thing as the blogosphere so if I wanted to be read, I had to be published.

I've since has three more books published, and it was quite thrilling.

However, these days I get more satisfaction from blogging--perhaps because of the immediacy of the response--than from publishing.

And I think I'll self-publish my next book because then I can write it without any outside input, and sell it and market it as I please.

Susan