Moving Day

The Chief and I went over to help his mother pack up her last minute stuff in preparation for her move to a new apartment tomorrow. I shall not tell you about how we were only supposed to be helping "get a few things down from high cupboards", and how the "few things" turned out to be the entire contents of her kitchen--the details are still too painful for close scrutiny.

I must, however, report the following conversation between The Chief and his mother, which I heard whilst wrapping her vast collection of china in newspaper and stuffing it in boxes.

Chief: (coming out of the bathroom with a cup full of toothbrushes) So, Ma, how many people actually live here?

Ma: (not quite sure how to take this question) Well, just me, of course.

Chief: So why do you need seven toothbrushes?

Ma: Well, I use a different one every day.

Chief: Why do you do that?

Ma: (completely serious, I kid you not) Because they don't wear out as fast, then.

Chief: (stunned silence)

Me: (from kitchen) *snort* (unsuccessfully suppressing giggles whilst crossing my knees to keep from wetting meself)

Yeah. It was one of those days.

The Spinning Bug

Okay, so this is bad. As if I don't have enough Hobbies That Cost Money. There I was, innocently knitting up a shawl, when the spinning bug crawled up my leg and bit me in the butt. I knew right then and there that I was going to have to get me a drop spindle and have a go. I got The Chief's blessing to spend a bit of his hard-earned cash, hiked up my skirts, and sallied forth to the local yarn shop where I got set up with a drop spindle and some beautiful hand-dyed fibre (which is far too beautiful for my feeble attempts, but we won't go into that now lest I become discouraged).

At any rate, I have made yarn! I have spun and it actually worked. Okay, it's really thick yarn and not the lace-weight of my dreams, but it is yarn!

I do believe I shall have to acquire a spinning wheel.

Which The Chief thought might be cool until he saw how much they cost.

Ah, well, I'll just have to work on him!

Remember when...

Remember when they first introduced aspartame (Nutrasweet), and they told us it was perfectly safe? Made from two amino acids found in milk and bananas.

Like eating milk and bananas, they said.

Yeah. Right.

Hand Dyed Yarn!

Little Mouse and I dyed yarn last weekend, and I finally managed to get the pictures out of the camera without them running out the wires and dribbling on the floor. I managed this difficult feat by lurking about in earshot of The Chief and saying plaintively, "Boy, I sure wish my pictures were in the computer so I could post them on my blog. I'm sure my three readers are just dyeing to see them..."

Anyway, this was my first attempt...it's a worsted weight wool, so it's too thick for socks, but it was sort of a trial so I could see how the colours would come out. It's actually exactly what I was hoping for.

This next one is Little Mouse's first attempt. She blended teal, violet, and peach. I warned her that things might get muddy where the colours touched, and while we were waiting for the dyes to set, it looked a little scary, but once we rinsed it out, we were both surprised to see how pretty it turned out.

Little Mouse is thrilled with it. She's thinking about making fingerless mitts or maybe a scarf with it.

So this is what our summer is going to look like...bright and colourful. And by fall we'll be drowning in yarn!

Bring It, Scruffy...

Tomorrow is the last day of school. And it's a half day, at that. (Who ever thought of half days of school? They must not have been mothers.)

Strangely enough, I am not dreading it this year. Instead, I am thinking about the following:

1. I am released from the dreary monotony that is Lunch Making.

2. For three whole months I do not have to rise at 5:45 am (which will make the reinstatement of this schedule in September all the more painful, but I'm trying not to dwell on that right now).

3. For three whole months I do not have to convince/threaten/cajole/force The Barrister to rise at 5:45 am...although if he is true to form, I imagine that most days by 6 am he will have downed at least three boxes of Cheerios, half a gallon of milk, and have won several Spore campaigns and at least one Civilization campaign.

4. Little Mouse and I have learned how to hand dye yarn in our own kitchen with Kool-Aid and Wilton's cake icing colours, a microwave, and a crock pot (finally found a use for that darn thing!)and we have a new box of colours and a box of Knit Picks undyed sock yarn to play with this summer. Can't wait!

5. The Barrister is not taking any classes in the fall that require the dreaded Summer Homework. We shall not speak of the Horrific Torture that was the pre-AP English Summer Component two summers ago. Nor will we speak of the 7th grade math Independent Study, preparing him to go straight from 6th grade math to pre-AP 8th grade math in one swoop. I have still not recovered.

The only thing I'm wondering is...how long will The Barrister be home before he utters the most dreadful pronouncement: "I'm Bored!"?

Last year, he managed to go a whole half hour before saying it.

Summer Vacation starts tomorrow.
Bring it, Scruffy.

Edit to add: the answer to the above question, how long will The Barrister be home before he utters the dreaded words, is about 30 seconds. He gave me an evil look whilst uttering the words, so I am assuming he was joking...a dangerous assumption, perhaps...

The Best Laid Plans

So...this was supposed to be the one morning of the week when I did not have have to Go Out. I was going to laze around in my sweats, drink my morning chai (made with soy milk...wards off those annoying hot flashes, dontcha know), and read some blogs.

Yeah, right.

7:12 am: last child out the door. Peace.

7:35 am: having stripped and remade the kids' beds with fresh sheets, get laundry going.

7:40 am: make chai. Sit down. Sigh contentedly.

7:42 am: phone rings. It's Little Mouse: "Mom, I forgot my stuffing for my science project" (don't ask.)

7:43 am: sigh. Glance longingly at chai and chair. Gather up car keys, wallet, cell phone and shopping list for the drug store, which I'm driving right by, so I might as well stop at, which will make tomorrow's list of errands just a little shorter.

8:00 am: drop off stuffing at school.

8:10 am: get to drug store. Discover they only actually have three of the eight items on my list. Bleh.

8:36 am: arrive home. Divest myself of the Accoutrements of Going Out. Let dogs out. Take a sip of chai, which is still warm thanks to my insulated mug thingy.

8:37 am: notice blinky yellow light on the phone, which means I have voice mail. Sigh. The only people who ever call me that early are children who've forgotten things.

8:38 am: retrieve message. It's the Barrister: "Mom, I forgot my glasses." We are not going to speak of my amazement that anyone could FORGET THEIR GLASSES. I have been wearing glasses since I was seven, and I have NEVER FORGOTTEN MY GLASSES. I can't bloody see without them!

8:39 am: sigh. Call dogs back in. Find glasses. Gather up Accoutrements of Going Out once more.

8:49 am: realize I have left the washing machine running, and with my luck, this will be they day it decides to break down, spewing water over everything and causing a Major Catastrophe that I do not have the Will To Deal With.

8:52 am: arrive at the Barrister's middle school--which is RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET from Little Mouse's middle school, which is where I was LESS THAN AN HOUR AGO. Endure knowing smile from office receiptionist, who now knows me by name because I have been doing Mom-I-forgot-whatever runs at least every week for the last three years.

9:05 am: arrive home once more. Check washing machine, which is happily chugging along. Let dogs out, both of whom are giving me the the will-you-make-up-your-damn-mind look. Take a sip of chai. Which is now cold.

9:06 am: lament the loss of my quiet morning. Bleh.

Random Thoughts...

1. Eating healthy is a heck of a lot of work. Just thought I'd pass that on...

2. I am seriously getting my butt kicked by a shawl. I knit and knit and knit, and it never gets any bigger. I am beginning to feel like it will never end.

3. How hard is it to stay on track with an English project that involves multiple checkpoints, a mother who is constantly reminding you of your deadlines, and a word processor? ("...when I was a kid we didn't have word processors. We had to scratch our reports in the dirt with sticks, and hope it didn't rain before the teacher looked it over...") The Barrister blew off pretty much everything for the third checkpoint until the night before it was due...

4. I do not care how important it is for you to exercise your independence (or how late you are for the bus, for that matter). If you have forgotten your glasses and your boots are muddy, ASK ME TO GET THEM FOR YOU! I will be scaling Mt. Laundry today, and the last thing I need is to have to clean up a trail of muddy bootprints from the front door up to your room and then the bathroom and then back down again.

5. I should not have decided to get serious about losing weight the same week I am planning to make chocolate-chip-cherry-oatmeal cookies.

6. I need a bonus points program. And they need to be redeemable for yarn. Seriously.